Whether its Bruce Willis’ shiny, exposed scalp ducking and dodging swings in Live Free or Die Hard or Lex Luthor’s bald noggin conjuring up schemes for the elimination of his longtime nemesis, Superman, hairless characters have contributed their own distinguishable mark upon various forms of entertainment for years. With our sights set deep within the videogame universe, we hope to determine which chrome-dome-supporting protagonist receives the honor of being Bag of Games’ highest-ranking, bald badass.
5. Brick (Borderlands series) – Part of the original Borderlands’ group of Vault Hunters, this rage-fueled brute not only favors the destructive capabilities granted by explosive weaponry, but frequently ditches the use of weapons altogether with ambitions of turning even the most intimidating adversaries into teensy bits of gore beneath his earth-shattering fists. For those doubting Brick’s addition to the list, picture this: one lone, tank-like specimen emerging unscathed and victorious from a warzone of pure chaos utilizing only the good ol’ one-two as his only means of protection. Yeah, we thought that might change your mind.
4. James Heller (Prototype 2) – Infected by the Blacklight virus thanks to the original Prototype’s antihero, Alex Mercer, James Heller can shapeshift his limbs into devastating weapons and assume the identities of the people he consumes all while barely breaking a sweat. With the ability to transform Wolverine-like claws into vehicle-shredding tendrils at a moment’s notice (all while pumping pure, revenge-seeking rage through his veins), there’s no wonder why this bald-headed tool of destruction is a force to be reckoned with.
3. Prophet (Crysis series) – Outfitted with a technologically-advanced nanosuit, Prophet can absorb substantial damage (brushing off standard gunfire like pesky flies) and stealthily eliminate adversaries with unparalleled accuracy thanks to his suit’s integrated invisibility. As if that isn’t enough, this hairless warrior performs superhuman feats with unbelievable ease, surviving instant-death-worthy plunges and demonstrating the sort of tank-like strength that would make even Superman blush. Oh, and did we mention that Prophet is basically immortal thanks to the nanosuit’s ability to retain his personality and assimilate it into whoever wields his combat armor? No? Well, there’s that too.
2. Agent 47 (Hitman series)– If being cloned from the donated DNA of four of the world’s greatest criminals isn’t enough to put this professional assassin on the list, then maybe Agent 47′s legendary ability to silently execute targets with unwavering precision might do the trick. Supporting an immaculate wardrobe, an incredibly identifiable barcode, and enough physical and mental capabilities to deem him near-superhuman, this calculated hitman easily represents the perfect, genetically-enhanced killing machine.
1. Kratos (God of War series) – It’s not everyday that a demigod with the ashes of his wife and daughter embedded into his skin goes on a vengeance-seeking quest to slaughter the Gods of Olympus, but then again, Kratos isn’t exactly your average, sword-wielding schmuck. Whether it’s viciously ripping out a Cyclops’ lone eye, brutally gutting out a Centaur’s entrails, or gruesomely tearing off Helios’ head with his bare-hands, Kratos easily serves as the epitome of pure, unadulterated badassery.